Half-demolished Kitchen of the Soul

Death with honor?

This year's White House Christmas tree comes from a farm in North Carolina. The radio report I heard said it was an honor for the tree. An honor for the grower and perhaps the state, but for the tree? 

If that particular Frasier fir were capable of knowing it was selected for the White House, I imagine it would consider it a greater honor to not be killed.

Tree Hugger / Antsy Pants 

Compounding the mistake

So, there we all were, waiting at the light on a one way street. Two through lanes and a left turn lane. 

Coming toward us (fortunately, rather slowly) was a woman driving a white SUV. I could almost see the wheels turning in her brain as she tried to figure what was wrong with the picture. 

"Hey, why isn't there an open lane on the other side of the intersection? What's wrong with those people? I think that guy's going the wrong way." 

Fortunately, our light was still red, so she had time to contemplate the matter.

I don't know whether she accurately assessed her error, but at least she chose a legal option. She turned right. V-e-e-e-e-r-r-r-r-y s-s-s-l-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-w-l-y. In fact, she essentially stopped mid-turn, blocking traffic in two directions. 

Um, Ma'am. Ma'am?

Our light changed and we started rolling forward. 

She barely moved.

Someone blasted his horn. (Oh, I guess that was me.)

Again, I don't know if she completely understood what she had done wrong, but I think she did realize she might get hit if she didn't get out of the way.

Thank you, Ma'am.

Maybe she was driving under the influence of tryptophan. Gobble gobble.

My phone, the supporting actor

I was watching a movie on DVD yesterday. In one scene it looked like they were using the same kind of cordless phone I have. There was a quick close-up shot of the phone as it rang, so I backed up and freeze framed to compare. Yup, it was identical, except they had blacked out the brand name—and not very artfully.

Music Video Monday: Clarence "Gatemouth" Brown

Where did they stick it?

I went to the home improvement center to get some super glue, window frosting film and some self-stick Velcro® tabs. Well, actually, I didn't go for the window film, but it had been on my mental list and this time I actually saw some.

After a little wandering I found the glue in the paint department. I'm sure there's some logic to that. But where, if they had any, were the Velcro® tabs? I went up and down the aisles. I asked an employee. She asked another. He thought it would be in hardware. It wasn't. 

I asked another employee who said it was by the rugs. Oh, yeah, I always Velcro® my rugs. I didn't find it.

Another employees was pretty sure it was in hardware, but when he led me there he, too, saw that it wasn't.

Another employee said it would be either in the tape aisle or in the organization section. I told him I knew it wasn't with the tape, but where was the organization section? Back next to the rugs. Ah-ha.

He led me there, and after he looked a little perplexed himself, he finally spotted it on the end of the aisle, clear at the back of the store. Ah, well, of course, this is the first place I'd look, back between shoe racks and rolls of fake grass.

What was astounding, though, was that I found five employees on a Saturday afternoon. And they tried their best to be helpful.

Oh, look. Now the window is like the cupboard.

Extra special delivery

A letter carrier in Apex, North Carolina (near Raleigh) has been charged with not delivering junk mail. He could have gone to prison for five years and been fined a quarter-million dollars, but was given three years probation, fined $3,000 and ordered to serve 500 hours of community service. Wasn't non-delivery of junk mail already service to the community? The people on his route certainly think so.

Then what happens?

A video has been released of Gov. Sarah Palin being interviewed at a turkey farm while, in the background, a worker drains the blood from freshly decapitated turkeys. Hey, that's where Thanksgiving dinner comes from, kids. (I once helped kill and pluck dozens of chickens for a wedding feast.)

But my question is, what happens with the vats of turkey blood? Does it get processed into something else?

Blood and Roses / The Smithereens

Acrobatic bread

The bread popped out of one toaster slot, flipped, and landed back in the other, scoring a perfect 10. Alas, its stunt didn't keep it from being eaten. Mmmmm, pumpernickel with tomato-basil pesto.

Frosty reception

 

This was my windshield this morning. Brrrrrrr.

Those of you in colder climates will say I'm a wimp, but there's a reason I don't live anywhere with a Real Winter®. I don't like cold weather. And, yes, I've experienced Real Cold®. I lived in central Canada for two years where I went out in temperatures as low as -65º. We'd leave our coats behind when it got "up" to zero degrees because it felt so much warmer after weeks of -30º or so. I never want to do that again. Or anything resembling it. (Well, except maybe for skiing. If my knees will ever let me do it again.)

So close

For as happy as Obama staff and volunteers in North Carolina were on election night after putting together a narrow win, I imagine our counterparts in Missouri are kicking themselves for losing by just 3,632 votes. "Oooo, if only we had knocked on more doors and made more calls," they might be thinking, "we could be part of the big joyfest too. Rats!"

And the Dems in Minnesota are crossing their fingers and hoping they won't feel the same way if Franken loses the recount. Meanwhile, Democrats are partying in Alaska. No Stevens, no Palin running to fill his seat.